Rockin' Live On The Trinity River Inner Tube Happy Hour Concert Series Announced

I really truly believe it is time for some sort of federal intervention in this strange part of America I am currently living in.

A few minutes ago, my best friend, Anonymous, sent me a link to a story on the dfw.com website, titled "Inaugural 'Rockin' the River' concert series announced."

In the first sentence of the article the writer, Preston Jones, writes, "It's an idea so good, one wonders why nobody thought of it sooner."

The idea Preston Jones is talking about is, "Starting June 9, the Rockin' the River - Live on the Trinity summer tubing and music series will take place every second and fourth Thursday through the month of August. Trinity River Vision, the organizers, are billing the series as a "floating happy hour," with free admission and free tubes for the first 600 people to show up, starting at 4 p.m."

An idea so good, one wonders why nobody thought of it sooner?

Actually, it is an idea, so stupid, it is a wonder anyone thought of it now.

But, this is what you get when your local congresswoman puts her unqualified son in charge of a big public works project, when that son is very fond of partying and partial to adult beverages.

The Trinity River Vision is providing 600 free inner tubes. Do those getting the free inner tubes get to take them home with them? How much do 600 inner tubes cost? Is buying inner tubes what voters thought they were voting for back in 2004 when, apparently, a bond vote occurred which some claim is what has validated the TRV foolishness and folly which has evolved into massive Happy Hour Inner Tube Parties on the Trinity River?

Now with music.

The Trinty River Vision will even allow you to bring your own inner tube, along with booze coolers and lawn chairs to set on when you tire of floating in the polluted river.

Apparently the Trinity River Vision's vision has been expanded to include helping increase alcohol consumption. From the TRV's Rockin' the River poster we learn that if you "Want your Happy Hour to last all night long?! Wear your Rockin' the River wristband to a participating bar after the float and receive drink specials ALL NIGHT!!"

Starting June 9, Josh Weathers and the True+Endeavors, along with other Texas acts, will make beautiful music from a waterfront stage, serenading the happy hour floaters out in the river, dodging snakes, turtles, alligator gar, assorted toxins and occasional floating fecal matter.

Happy Hour floats will continue through the summer. Or until someone dies in an unfortunate, totally unforeseen accident. The Happy Hour floating dates are June 23 with Bleu Edmondson, July 14 with Eleven Hundred Springs, July 28 with Ryan Turner, August 11 with the Kyle Bennett Band and August 25 with The Will Callers.

Now, if there is a fatal tragedy, like what happened in the Fort Worth Water Gardens, who is it who will be sued? The Trinity River Vision? The City of Fort Worth? The Tarrant Regional Water District? All of them? Who will pay?

Ultimately You........

Tubing The Trinity River Vision Boondoggle Photo Booth Wondering How Did They Get That Brown Water So Blue

Incoming, just in, from Eunice Lovers, my Trinity River Vision Boondoggle insider spy.

Apparently the TRVB, that is the acronym for Trinity River Vision Boondoggle, I probably did not need to explain that, anyway, the TRVB people have been setting up a booth at various Tarrant County venues, like the Main Street Arts Festival and Mayfest, but shockingly not at the Prairie Fest.

In this booth you can get your picture taken whilst looking as if you are floating in the Trinity River on an inner tube.

This seemed, to me, to be so over the top ridiculous that I though Eunice might be making it up, faking the image, just to have fun with me.

However, Eunice also mentioned that TRVB was posting photos of people on the tubes on the TRVB Facebook page.

And sure enough, there are a lot of them.

The TRVB propaganda that is selling the idea that the Trinity River is a recreational venue is being so effective it has almost convinced me that I want to stick my inflatable kayak in the river.

Is there any mechanism where the feds intervene when an area of the country has obviously gone insane? If there is, I think it is time to employ that mechanism.